


Brush Away the Illusions

by savvyliterate



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-30
Updated: 2012-03-30
Packaged: 2017-11-02 19:01:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/372286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/savvyliterate/pseuds/savvyliterate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p> He was learning, at a slug's pace, that having these <i>feelings </i>didn't mean the end of the universe after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Brush Away the Illusions

“You _shot_ the polar bear!”

The Doctor’s tone was indignant as he ushered the three snow and ice-covered lumps masquerading as people into the TARDIS ahead of him. He caught the arm of the final person, recognizable because not even a inch-thick layer of snow and ice could disguise all that hair.

River yanked her arm back. “I didn’t  _shoot_ a polar bear,” she said, exhaustion and annoyance lacing her words. “I  _shot_ a Sniegas that was trying to eat my father.”

“For which I am extremely grateful, River,” Rory said as he knocked snow from his trainers.

Amy stalked over to the Doctor, jabbing her finger in his chest and causing bits of snow and ice to fly everywhere. “Which, if River hadn’t shown up when she did, it would have eaten all of us because you offended the entire lot by telling Rory the wrong way to greet them!”

“I’d forgotten these were Sniegas, not Sniegs, which live on the other side of this planet …”

“... and have completely different customs,” River cut in, shuffling to the console and taking them into the vortex. It was either that or put up with the Sniegas banging at the front door for another five minutes. “While a handshake is acceptable as a form of greeting in the Sniegs culture …”

Annoyed with all of them, the Doctor brushed Amy off and tried to nudge River aside so he could drive. When she studiously ignored him, he flipped a red switch just because he could. “... it’s considered an act of submission and invitation to sacrifice you to their gods by cannibalism, I know my history, River!”

“My parents didn’t!” River flipped the switch back and saved them all from being shot into the middle of the Peloponnesian War.

“Look,” Amy managed to say as her shivering grew worse. She grabbed Rory’s hand, “you two can have your domestic. I’m freezing. I’m going to that nice hot tub in the third-floor spa and soaking for a very long time. Join us or not, I don’t care, but River did save us, Doctor. At least you could thank her.”

Amy was right, but he chose to ignore that as well. “That hot tub’s broken.”

“No, it’s not,” River said.

“ _Yes_ ,” the Doctor said testily, “it is.”

River’s hands flew over the console as more snow and ice dripped to the floor. She finished with a distinct lack of flourish, instead dragging the monitor down to the Doctor’s eye level so he could see the steaming hot tub awaiting the Ponds on the third floor. “Yes,” she said just as testily, “it is. I’m going to change.” She stalked up the stairs and out of the room as the Doctor wildly gestured after her, pointing and trying to think of a comeback. But mainly he was just impressed she’d managed to get the hot tub working. It’d been broken since his fifth incarnation. 

He spun back to see Amy and Rory giving him disapproving looks. “ _What?_ ”

“You didn’t even greet her, you just started yelling at her for saving our lives and acting all …” Amy frowned a bit, “Mr. Grumpy Face.  _Again._ You could have thanked her.”

“Look,” Rory offered, putting an arm around Amy’s shoulder, “if I’ve learned anything, just apologize. It’ll save a lot of trouble in the long run.”

“Oh, why are we bothering? River knows how to handle him. Clearly she’s been doing it for years. God knows someone can manage it at least.” Amy steered Rory toward the stairs. “Make yourself useful! Get us some cocoa or something for when we’re done!”

“When did I become your butler?” the Doctor sputtered as the Ponds disappeared. Once they were out of the room, he pushed his hands through his hair before dragging them down his face. Well, it just so happened that Amy and Rory were right. He did owe River a thank you for happening to be … well, he wasn’t quite sure how River managed to be nearby -- she’d yelled something about archaeological expedition as they sprinted toward the TARDIS -- but she had saved them all. Still, there were other ways of handling it. There were at least six different ways of offering restitution for a grievance to a Sniegas, he was quite sure he could have managed one of them before it ate Rory. It only had his head partly in its jaws.

Still, cocoa sounded good. Convinced it was his idea to begin with, the Doctor wandered to the closest kitchen to the console room. Light spilled from the door, and he saw that River was already there. She’d bypassed the hot tub, having changed into a jumper and jeans, and her damp hair was scooped back into a messy ponytail. Much to his amusement, her feet were bare except for a pair of polka-dot socks. It was something he’d learned about during the three months between Demon’s Run and Berlin - her fondness for socks that were as garish as his hats. He stole them as often as he could.

She turned with a small sack in hand, and it struck him just how  young  she looked. They hadn’t compared diaries, but this had to be early, early days for her. She didn’t look that much older than Berlin. He leaned against the door and shoved his hands in his pockets, suddenly not quite sure how to deal with this. “What have you done?” he asked softly. “Diary-wise?”

She worried her lip a bit as she eyed him. “Have we done Calderon Beta?” she finally asked.

“No. Planet of the chip shops, right?” 

Something flashed in her eyes before she turned away from him, closing her eyes. She took several deep breaths, and he allowed her to compose herself from whatever it was that bothered her. “I think I know when you are,” she said after a moment. “I’ve seen you before, in this part of your timeline, when I was in university. But, it’s my first time I’ve seen this you since then. I should have been ready for it. At least you know who I am.” 

Not all of it, he suspected as River worked open the bag. He ached to ask her exactly what it was that bothered her to the point that she looked so sad, but his gut and hearts had already worked that out to a degree.  He suspected a lot of things about her since Berlin, but confirming it at the wrong time would spin things out of control for them both. The older River was adept at handling this complicated web of a relationship they were in. The younger one apparently was learning. She was already handling it better than he ever did, her composure already regained as she sniffed at the bag’s contents.

“These are cacao beans,” River said with a bit of surprise. “I haven’t seen these in years.”

“Oh? Those!” Delighted to have a diversion, the Doctor pushed off the door and looked over her shoulder as she poured the fragrant beans into her hand. A small round object fell out with them. “Got them when I visited the Aztecs during my first incarnation!”

“And this?” River held up the object between two fingers, not questioning how the TARDIS had kept everything so fresh for all those years. She just  knew , and it was one of the things he quite adored about her.

“Ah.” With a fond smile, he accepted the object. “It’s a seal. I got myself engaged then, you know.”

“I know,” River said with amusement. “I spoke to Cameca for my thesis. She was quite fond of you, even though you lot nearly rewrote history entirely.”

“I tried to stop Barbara!”

“Yes, sweetie, I know that, too.” Without elaboration, River poured the handful of beans back in the bag and began looking for a grinder. She bent over to rummage through a cupboard. “You’ve left quite a list of broken hearts throughout time and space, my love.”

“I did _not_ leave broken hearts throughout time and space!” And he was not looking at her bum either, so there.

“Enjoying the view, sweetie?”

The Doctor scowled and moved to another cupboard to pull out ingredients. “Traditional,  atole  or European? We could make that blend from Hydroxia 3, but …”

“You’re out of the Yangia, I just checked.” River straightened, holding a grinder with a hand crank. “Traditional. I’m sure my mother wants a hot drink.” Mischief danced in her eyes. “Let’s give her a taste of real Aztec cocoa.”

“Brilliant!” He grabbed hot peppers, corn meal and various spices and dumped them on the counter next to River as she poured cacao beans into the grinder and began turning the crank.

It was something else that bemused him. River never seemed to be jealous of any of his previous … he wasn’t sure if all of them were relationships, but they were  something . She’d warned him that she did have a jealous streak, but he hadn’t seen it yet. He’d talked to her older self about his wife, Jamie, Romana, the Master and Rose, and now he knew he’d told her of Cameca too, or she’d discovered it on her own. 

“How much do you know about that?” he asked as River poured ground beans into a mug and went to work on a second. He added spices and started the kettle.

“Quite a bit. A lot of records of your travels in your first and second incarnation were lost, but that one was one of the most complete I came across.” River finished the second mug, set it aside and went to work on a third. “I liked that era of history.”

“I always thought,” he said a bit quietly, “that Barbara reminded me of Donna.”

River didn’t say anything, and he wondered if she already knew of Donna. Her older self indicated that Donna was one of the first companions she learned about, but of course that didn’t mean anything. Lies were deftly wound through the truth to protect both of them. 

She tilted her head to one side, considered, then poured the ground beans into the third mug. “Yes,” she finally said, “I can see that.” And that was all they spoke of it.

River finished the last mug and took over adding the spices as the Doctor retrieved the kettle. He filled the mugs, and she plopped spoons into them so they could stir. He picked up two mugs and offered one to her. Eyebrow winged, she accepted it. They clinked the mugs against each other and  leaned against the counter, sipping at the hot, bitter brew. For a moment, he thought he would spit it out. But, apparently, this body maintained its fondness for that particular style of cocoa.

Besides, River was staring at him with an oddly intense look. It was doing  things to him. Things that would be very awkward when Amy and Rory walked into the room.

“What?” he said after a moment.

A smile tugged at River’s lips. “My love,” she began, her voice dropping several octaves and not making the flutters of arousal go away  _at all_. “About your visit to the Aztecs.”

“Yes, what about it?” He really was quite eager to talk about that adventure. It was nice. It was safe. It was a very long time ago, and maybe he needed to look at River’s eyes instead of her chest. Right. He shifted his gaze to her amused smile.

“Tell me more about it?”

“Not much more to it than what you apparently found out. Visited the Aztecs, had cocoa, got engaged. It was all just a …,” his voice trailed off as the memory of exactly  how  he got engaged hit him like a sledgehammer, and the mug slipped from his grip. River caught it before it hit the floor, but cocoa still splashed everywhere. “No, no! No, that doesn’t mean. But are you …? Did you really think that …? But I didn’t mean it like that.  _River!_ ”

“Mean it in what way, my love?” She took another sip of her drink.

He swallowed, not quite sure how to even say it. Part of his brain had shut down, and it felt like he was outside his body, watching himself react to the situation. There was a lot of hand flailing, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw River moving Amy and Rory’s mugs out of reach and fetching a rag. That was all well and good, naturally, but there were more important things to discuss at the moment. He dropped to his knees and grabbed the rag from her.

She sat back on her haunches. “Sweetie?”

“Meaning did you think that I asked you to marry me?” he shouted at her. Seconds later, a distinctively Amy-sounding squeak happened from the doorway. “Out!” he yelled without taking his eyes off River.

“Outing!” Amy cheerfully replied, shoving Rory out the door.

“Wait, isn’t he suppose to ask the father before he does that?” Rory groused.

“Oh, since did we ever do anything proper in this family?” Amy said and dragged Rory toward the console room.

River just stared at him. “Sweetie,” she said patiently, “you’ve never properly discussed marriage with me, or as far as I know of, anyone other than your first wife.”

“But, the cocoa! That’s how I got engaged to Cameca.” He gestured to the mess. “I invited her to have cocoa, we made it and shared it. It was considered a proposal.”

“You do realize that I didn’t know that’s how you got engaged.” River took the rag from the Doctor’s limp fingers, finished wiping up the cocoa and got up to fix Amy and Rory’s drinks. “Cameca didn’t tell me the details, only that there’d been a misunderstanding regarding intentions. She said you didn’t realize what you’d done, but that you were very gracious about it. She said you were quite charming.”

“But … but … You’re an archaeologist!”

“And there are at least 16 different marriage rituals and proposal customs in that era alone, Doctor. Would you like for me to recite them for you?” She leaned over, kissed the top of his head, and headed for the door.

“Surely you would …”

“Oh sweetie.” Some of the inner mirth she’d been holding back spilled over, and she laughed. “I take it you’ve been thinking about marriage?”

For the first time in quite a few centuries, the Doctor was absolutely speechless. Surely somewhere a star went supernova as a result.

“Come on, sweetie, let’s go take these to Amy and Rory. Oh, and be careful we don’t walk over a threshold or down a flight of stairs together. That’ll get us engaged on three planets and an asteroid. And be sure not to walk six steps behind me, that’ll get us married on Raja, and they still have a warrant out for your arrest there. Spoilers.” River sailed out of the room.

He wandered after her, seven paces just to make sure, hands in his pockets. “You’re not mad?” he asked quietly.

She stopped up short, and he nearly ran into her. She looked up at him, and suddenly there was so much pain in those eyes that always changed color on him. His throat went dry as, for a brief moment, her eyes were suspiciously wet. “I find,” she said, “that I can deal with this either by being sad or by laughing. It’s far easier to laugh.”

He thought of all the flippant jokes, the innuendos, the witty barbs her elder self constantly flung at him. Little pieces of armor, he thought, keeping her soul protected as she dealt with the mess he’d made of her life. Continued to make of her life. He hung his head, then turned to go back to the kitchen. No, not the kitchen. Maybe one of the inner sub-libraries or some place where he could hide for the next three years. 

He heard her give a shuddering breath and knew he’d hurt her again.

He spun back, arms slipping around her waist from behind as she nearly tripped and dropped the two mugs. He felt her relax into him, and he pressed his face into her hair as they simply  existed for a few moments. He could hear the low whoosh of the TARDIS as she hummed around them. Amy and Rory were talking in low voices in the console room. But right now, at this moment in time, all that existed was him and her, time wrapping itself around them in an intricate web drawing them tighter and tighter together.

She didn’t say anything. But her fingers traced over the back of his wrist in familiar symbols, reminding him of the words he'd whispered into Melody Pond's ear in Berlin. His hold on her tightened.

They didn't need cocoa. They didn't need anything at all. 

Then, as it always did, time moved forward.

Amy loved her cocoa, and Rory gave the Doctor his to finish after declaring it was far too spicy. River sent the Doctor a cheeky look, which he scoffed at before downing the rest of the drink.

“So!” Amy said. “What were you two talking about?”

“Aztec marriage customs. Did you know, Dad, that if someone offers you cocoa, given the intent behind that offer, that it’s considered by some to be a marriage proposal?”

“You could have told me that before I gave my mug to the Doctor!”

“It’s not like he hasn’t kissed every other member of this family,” Amy said cheekily.

“He’s not kissing me,” Rory declared.

The Doctor ignored them, turning to put in the coordinates for Stormcage when he felt River against his side. Her curls tickled his nose, and if he happened to turn his head just an inch to breathe in her shampoo and brush his lips over her forehead, well, no one was watching at the moment. 


End file.
